


Gentle, Bright.

by starsqwub



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:02:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21933418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starsqwub/pseuds/starsqwub
Summary: “I’m glad you told me,” Rey whispered, and Finn felt the truth behind it: yes, she was glad to know about Finn’s Force sensitivity, but at the same time... she always knew. They both did, in a way. “You don’t have to hide, Finn. Not from me,” she squeezed Finn’s hand gently, “and certainly not from Poe.”*Secrets and true feelings come to light (as they tend to do aboard the Millennium Falcon.)*
Relationships: Finn & Rey (Star Wars), Poe Dameron & Finn & Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 60
Kudos: 952





	Gentle, Bright.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all enjoy! Loved digging into the trio's mindsets post-TROS. Please tell me what you think. <3

“You should tell him,” Rey whispered through the dark of the Falcon’s lounge. It was late; the old freighter let out a low creak, as if adjusting in its sleep in the night. She and Finn sat at the hologram board, shoulder to shoulder, her knee knocking familiarly into his.

It was so dark that Finn could only just make out Rey’s sharp silhouette in the shadows; the pointy tips of her ears, the stray hairs curling about her temples. Small lights along the lounge’s back walls made a sort of multi-colored halo about Rey’s head, like an angel’s (and Finn smiled softly at that).

He traced small circles along the hologram board’s cool tabletop. “I know. I don’t know why I’m putting it off,” Finn said, voice hushed. “He’s been so distant. It’s like... I don’t know, I think he’s mad at me, or something.”

Rey cocked her head curiously. “You think that. But do you _feel_ it?”

Finn’s eyes flitted to the direction of the Falcon’s cockpit, where Poe had been spending most of his time today. _Do you feel it._

Fourteen days had passed since the war’s end, and Finn, Rey, and Poe had slowly overtaken the Millennium Falcon in the spare time since. At first it was a means of escape—a welcome respite from the throngs of joyful Resistance fighters who clamored for their stories, and wished to shake hands and exchange tearful thank-you’s. Finn had noticed a new raspiness to Rey’s voice; she wasn’t used to talking this much, and was far too kind to decline her many admirers. ( _An angel._ ) So, he and Poe would find some excuse to steal her away—“It’s General business,” they’d say, with poorly suppressed grins—and eagerly flee to the Falcon, a grateful Rey in tow.

They’d pass the time in the cockpit tossing snacks into each other’s mouths, which Rey and Poe quickly modified into a competition to see who could feed Finn the most dessert puffs.

They’d picked up some cleaning supplies from the base and scrubbed a bit around the lounge. Rey potted flowers and tucked them into the cockpit. Poe brought in some of his racing holos, and the trio would watch them in a tangle of tightly intertwined limbs in the bunks. They’d fall asleep that way, night after night, until it only made sense to move most of their belongings from out of the Resistance base and into the ship.

So it was an escape, at first. A hideout. Their secret.

Now, the Falcon was their home.

But Poe wasn’t home, these past few days. Not _really_.

“I...” Finn started, struggling for the words, the feelings. “I’m trying to give him space.” He wouldn’t admit to Rey that he’d recently decided to... refrain from _feeling_ around Poe. It wasn’t a secret, how close Finn and Poe had become over the year. Rey teased them often over their uncanny ability to synchronize (and their total lack of personal space around each other.) But when Finn had begun to piece together that he has what Rey has, it brought a new light to his relationship with Poe; this precious intimacy they shared... had Finn cheated it? Did Poe even want it? The whispers in the night, their sweetest dreams, their darkest fears... what if Finn didn’t deserve any of that from someone like Poe?

Finn felt Rey’s fingers wrap around his own. “Finn.” Her eyes glinted. “You need to trust yourself.” And though Finn couldn’t see her smile, he did feel it: “Like you always tell me to. Right?”

The Force expanded a bit about them, flushing Finn’s tight chest with the slightest bit of relief. He nodded. “I’m glad you know now.”

“I’m glad you told me,” Rey whispered, and Finn felt the truth behind it: yes, she was glad to know about Finn’s Force-sensitivity, but at the same time... she always knew. They both did, in a way. “You don’t have to hide, Finn. Not from me,” she squeezed Finn’s hand gently, “and certainly not from Poe.”

Finn’s chest went cold again. The last thing he wanted to do was hide himself from Poe. He couldn’t imagine anything worse than these past few weeks—burying this part of himself away, out of sight, from the person he...

“You don’t think he’ll be mad?” Finn mumbled a little miserably.

“Well, take it from someone he’s ‘mad’ at most...” Rey stood from her seat at the holoboard and offered Finn her hand, “Poe doesn’t have an angry bone in his body.” She paused. “Well, maybe one bone. Reserved for See-Threepio.”

With a short chuckle, Finn took Rey’s extended hand and stood; the soft gray light pouring in from the galley helped him see Rey’s eyes more clearly in the night. Thank the Force for his dearest friend—for her helpful hand.

“Alright. I’ll tell him.” Finn blinked, but he shivered just a bit. _Please don’t be angry_ , he thought. _Please, please don’t be mad._

* * *

Poe sat in the Falcon cockpit, one knee to his chest with a boot on the dashboard. He’d been staring out the windshield and watching the sky melt from a deep orange twilight into a blue sea of stars. It was a view he returned to again and again, especially in moments like these.

The empty moments.

Poe was usually so, so good with secrets. He’d never meant to return to Kijimi, never meant for Rey and Finn to learn about his stint as a spice runner—but at the end of the day, his past was exactly that... the past. And it was only the beginning of all the things he was desperate to hide.

He closed his eyes.

Snap’s death, fiery and red, replayed at the forefront of his mind, and Poe’s eyes flew open again. He wouldn’t be sleeping tonight. Same as the night before, and the one before that.

Poe knew exactly what would help right now. Exactly who. He held a heavy hand to the ring hanging from his neck. Brushed the cool silver chain it was suspended from. A chill flew down his spine.

 _So many secrets._

Heavy footsteps—Finn’s, he immediately recognized, though Rey also had a habit of stomping—sounded up the ramp to the cockpit. Poe’s gut twisted a bit, in a mix of elation and dread. _I want to see him_ , he thought. _I’ve wanted to. But I don’t want him to see me like—_

“Poe?” Finn said gently, as if anticipating that Poe was fast asleep. ( _An angel_ , Poe thought. _Finn is like an angel_.)

Poe tossed a look over his shoulder as casually as he could manage. “Hey buddy,” he said. “It’s late, shouldn’t you—“

“Be checking on my co-General?” Finn settled into the pilot’s chair across from Poe’s, a tiny grin animating his face. “No point in sleeping. The sun’ll be up soon. Might as well get a head start on the day.” Finn clapped and rubbed his palms together eagerly for extra emphasis.

Poe let out an easy laugh, the first he’d had in a few days. “It’s funny because you’re serious. You’re a workaholic.” _And the finest man I know._

“Speak for yourself, General,” Finn said. He leaned back into his pilot’s chair, or at least as far back as one could go. (Poe loved the Falcon as if it were family, but the seats were kriffing stiff as all get-out.) Finn met his eyes then with an even stare, and Poe’s gut started twisting again; they hadn’t spoken in at least two days, which was more than he was remotely comfortable with. _It’s for the best_ , he reminded himself. Finn spoke again, a pensive finger resting against his temple: “I wanted to talk to you.”

Poe nodded carefully. “Sure pal. What’s up.” He wondered if Finn noticed the temperature in the cockpit dropping, or if that was just Poe’s nerves playing tricks on him.

Finn waited, clearly measuring his words, dark eyes still glued to Poe’s own. Then, lowly: “Remember the… thing I needed to tell Rey?”  
  
 _Oh._ Poe’s heartbeat quickened. “You told her.”

Finn nodded. “I told her.”

A familiar pang of jealousy flared up Poe’s skin that he immediately attempted to temper; Poe was so self-aware of his insecurities, and the jealousy quickly gave way to self-loathing. He set his jaw firmly, unsure how to respond.

Finn continued: “And I wanted to tell you. Now. I… wanted to tell you _then_ , too—“

“Why didn’t you,” Poe said, unable to control the edge in his voice. _Easy, Poe_. The edge softened: “Then, I mean. You know you can tell me anything.” He’d hoped that, at least. Hoped and wished.

“I know,” Finn replied quietly. “I wanted to. I did.” He rubbed at his forehead self-consciously. “I don’t like secrets.”

Poe winced.

They didn’t speak for a few more moments, until Finn gave an affirmative nod. “I’m really sorry, Poe. I shouldn’t have kept this from you for so long. You’re…” He cleared his throat. “We’re a team. And you deserve better.”

Damn it all. Poe’s brow crumpled at the apology. “Finn, no—“

“No, wait, just let me—“ Finn took a deep breath to reset himself, straightening in his seat. “Please. Let me do this.”

Poe nodded weakly. “Okay.” He’d been prepped for this revelation for a while now; hearing Finn finally say it aloud would hurt, certainly, maybe even kill him, but at least he was ready. Ready for him to love someone other than—

“I’m like Rey, Poe,” Finn said, his voice breaking. “I mean… I’m nothing _like_ her, I’ll never be like _her_ , but I’m—I have—“  
  
 _Oh_.

Poe blinked.

 _Oh oh oh._

Now it all made perfect sense. His goodness, his instinct, his quick-wit, his uncanny ability, Finn’s _everything_ —

 _Oh_.

“You’re force-sensitive,” Poe said. A statement, not a question. “Of course you are, Finn.” And a giddiness that made Poe feel damn-near _childlike_ washed over him as he exclaimed, “Finn, of course you are!” The emptiness he’d been feeling all but evaporated, at least for now. 

Finn’s eyes were round and glassy. “You’re not angry.”

“Angry?!” Poe leaned as closely as he could to Finn from across the Falcon’s cramped cockpit. “Why would I ever be—Finn, I’m not angry. I’m, I’m EXCITED! I’m thrilled! I—well, okay, granted, I really do wish you’d told me earlier, but I get it. We kind of had our hands full back there with an all-out war to end all wars.” And Poe nodded to himself, just now putting together the kind of bond Rey and Finn must share. Must have always shared. “I’m not angry, Finn, not at _all_. Hell. You’re a Jedi!” Poe’s cheeks ached from how hard he was smiling. “A _Jedi_ , and a _General_. Just like Leia.”

“Hardly,” Finn said earnestly, shyness creeping into his posture. ( _An angel_ , Poe thought again, _through and through_.) “Rey said she could train me,” he continued, “if I want to train.”

Poe’s eyes grew wide with wonder. “Do you? Want to train?”

Finn’s lips pursed, as if he were almost afraid to admit it: “I do.”

Poe beamed.

And maybe the strength in his smile was the thing that finally eased Finn; his shoulders relaxed, and he leaned in a bit more towards Poe. “I feel like…” he began again, and Poe listened so, so eagerly, “all the things that they took away from me... the life that the First Order _stole_ from me—“ (and, not for the first time, Poe wished the First Order were still reigning, just so he could burn it down all over again in an even _bigger_ and _brighter_ blaze, all for Finn) “…Maybe this is how I start to steal it all back.” Finn let out a short exhale, and sitting just a little taller in his pilot’s seat. “Maybe these are the first steps.”

“Finn,” Poe breathed, and he felt like laughing, and crying; he reached for Finn’s hand instinctively, and Finn offered his right away, as if reading Poe’s thoughts. (And kriff, maybe he _did_.) “I’m really, _really_ glad you told me.” He squeezed Finn’s hand, looked into his eyes with all the love he had left in him. Poe wished he were like Rey now, and like Finn; he wished he could pour all of his feelings into the Force for Finn, so Finn could know _exactly_ how much awe and love he held for him. So much. _Too_ much.

He wished he could tell him that. The love bit, and more. But he reminded himself: it’s for the better.

Now, more than ever.

And he slowly slipped his fingers from Finn’s hand.

* * *

“I’m glad too,” Finn said, though he already missed the feeling of Poe’s hand in his own. He reached out in unsure protest as Poe stood up from his pilot’s chair: “Poe? Where are you—“

“I should probably, ah…” Poe looked all around the cockpit, at anywhere but Finn’s worried gaze; “I should get some sleep, I think. Yeah.” His voice was catching unnaturally in his throat, in a way that made Finn’s heart ache.

“Wait,” Finn rose and caught Poe by the elbow: “There was something else.”

Poe motioned to pull his elbow from Finn’s grasp, but he wavered, still avoiding Finn’s eyes. His voice was low, and somehow it felt so far away from Finn: “I’m glad we talked, buddy. Really. But I should go.”  
  
Finn frowned. “You’re not going to tell me what’s going on with you,” and he couldn’t help but pull Poe in closer: “Even now.”

The pilot’s brow furrowed heavily, examining Finn’s grip on his arm. “Tomorrow.”

“Nuh-uh, no. I’m not gonna spend another night staring at the ceiling, worrying about you, Poe,” Finn said firmly, and Poe’s eyes flashed a bit at that. “What happened to _‘you can tell me anything’?”_

Poe shrugged, almost sarcastically: “You _can_ tell me anything—“

“Poe. Please.” Finn slid his hand a bit higher up Poe’s arm, and gave his shoulder a gentle rub. He remembered Rey’s words in the lounge’s gray light; “I don’t want you to hide.”

Poe’s lip twitched at that, and though he met Finn’s eyes for an instant, he turned away again just as quickly and looked down to the floor. “I’m scared I can’t anymore,” he whispered harshly.

Finn grasped Poe’s opposite shoulder now as well, ducking his head a bit to try and meet Poe’s eyes. “What do you mean,” he asked sadly, and Poe shook his head, his dark curls bobbing.

“Trust me, Finn,” a dark smile laid along Poe’s lips, “you don’t want to see what’s in my head.”  
  
“And what if I do? Maybe I want to,” Finn replied, gently tucking a stray curl behind Poe’s ear.

Poe paused, tilting his head into the curve of Finn’s fingers. But his forehead creased miserably, and his eyes looked so red—Poe was so tired, so troubled, despite having saved a galaxy. “That’s what I’m afraid of. If you’re close to me, Finn, if you can _feel_ what I really feel now…” Poe’s voice was catching again: “See what I see.”

“Why does that scare you,” Finn was nearly chest to chest with Poe now, heartbeat to heartbeat, and took the pilot’s face into his hands with great care; “Why can’t we face this thing together, the same way we do everything? Nothing’s stopped us before. I doubt anything can now.” He curled his lips into a tentative smile. “I’ll get a lightsaber soon, too, will that help?”

Poe’s eyes crinkled softly at that, if only for a moment. They were still so sad, staring off at secrets rather than Finn’s own gaze. “I’ve been fighting this… maybe all my life, Finn,” he said, his stubble scraping at the palms of Finn’s hands. “I don’t know if _together’s_ gonna be enough to stop it.”

“You don’t really feel that,” Finn whispered. He stroked his thumb up Poe’s cheek. “Do you?”

And Poe’s eyes were welling now, with his jaw set so tightly; it felt like Finn’s hands were holding stone. He didn’t even have to try and reach out in the Force to feel the conflict storming within Poe, the darkness he was keeping at bay.  
  
When Finn had felt Rey’s lifeforce fade on Exogol, it was like something had reached into him and ripped his heart out from his chest.

Something terrible was tearing at Poe’s heart, bit by bit. And Finn was _losing_ him.

Finn let out a shaky breath, and gave a quick nod with his chin. “Poe, I want you to know… I would never _invade_ you, and your _feelings_ , without your consent.”

“I know you wouldn’t,” Poe whispered, letting the weight of his head rest into Finn’s comforting hold. “I know.”

“And you don’t have to let me in otherwise. Ever. We can drop all this tonight and I won’t ask again. But you have to understand, I—I’m connected to you, Poe. _Truly_. In a way,” the words were forming before his mind could really think them, and Poe’s eyes watched intently as they all fell messily from his lips, “in a way I’ve never felt with someone before. Not with Rey, or, or Rose, or through the _Force_ …” Finn felt himself trembling and tried his best to keep himself from falling into pieces; “Only with you.”

And with that, he pulled Poe in tightly for an embrace, tenderly maneuvering around Poe’s arm that had been injured at Kijimi. Poe slowly folded deeper and deeper into the hug, tightening his fingers into the thick fabric of Finn’s vest; he blinked cool tears against Finn’s neck. Finn cradled him as solidly as he could manage, and though he knew he couldn’t heal Poe in the way he’d seen Rey heal the serpent on Pasaana, he still wrapped as much as he could of the Force all around Poe, like a thick blanket, knit by hand.

After just a few more precious moments in the quiet Falcon cockpit, Finn turned his head inward to Poe’s curly dark hair. “Just let me know how I can help,” he said,slowly pulling back from their embrace. He met Poe’s eyes again, and Finn smiled. “I can be brave for you.”

The tears in Poe’s eyes glinted through the dark, like gems; they were the last thing Finn saw before Poe’s lips were pressed against his, in a light, feathery kiss.

 _Oh_.

Poe’s hands twisted into Finn’s shirt’s collar, and Finn could feel his eyelashes tickling the skin just below his own.

_Oh._

And when Poe’s lips finally parted from his, all Finn could say was, “Oh.”

“Finn,” Poe breathed, his hands still balled tightly into the cloth of Finn’s collar, “You’re the only thing that makes sense to me. You’re the only thing in all the galaxy that’s clear in my mind. And I,” his tears were glinting again, “I’m… I’m not _okay_ , and I haven’t been, for a long time. I don’t know how to stop… feeling like this. The war’s over, and we can all go home now, and be _happy_ , but for some reason I can’t,” and Finn wrapped his arms a little tighter about Poe’s shoulders as Poe's voice crumbled, “no matter how hard I try, I can’t go home yet.”  
  
“Poe,” Finn whispered softly, thumbing a tear rolling down Poe’s cheek.

"I'm sorry." Poe sniffed hard and lifted a hand to wipe the rest of his tears and snot with his sleeve. “I’m sorry.”

Finn shook his head at that, combing Poe’s curls back behind his ear again. “No ‘sorries’, General. That’s an order.”

Poe snorted. “Right. Sorry General.” He let his head fall into Finn’s shoulder. “I love you, Finn,” he said, his voice breaking, but sure. “I wake up every day just wanting to see you. I’ve thanked the Force every day for you, for saving my life over and over again, just by being _you_. I love you.” And Poe laughed, suddenly, with a rueful shake of his head into Finn’s shoulder; he lifted his eyes to Finn’s again and gave him that trademark easy grin, as if tonight were just any old night aboard the Millennium Falcon. “Well, there you go. I know you said you don’t like secrets. Guess you know all of mine now—“  
  
Finn pulled Poe into another kiss, this time pushing deeper and reaching further. They staggered into the hallway leading to the Falcon’s galley from the force of it, and Finn tried to lead as best he could. Kissing was so _new_ and _wonderful_ and _terrifying_ , but he would be brave, of course, for _Poe_ ; he curled his fingers through Poe’s hair and kissed his mouth, his nose, his cheeks, his chin. Poe smiled sweetly through it all, even showing his teeth a little, so Finn kissed him there, and along his forehead, and the hairs curled about his temples. He kissed Poe like there was a war to win. He kissed Poe like he was _home_. 

They stumbled their way back to Poe’s sleeping quarters in the Falcon, continuing an endless exchange of soft kisses and laughs and tears for hours. Poe shared the hard stories eating at his heart, and Finn held him, and rested kisses along his tears; it was true, Poe would carry these wounds for a lifetime. But he didn’t have to carry them alone anymore. 

“I’m glad you know now,” Poe whispered, his eyelids drooping, thick with exhaustion.

“I’m glad you told me,” Finn whispered back, sleepily tracing his fingers along Poe’s brow over and over and over, until Poe was fast asleep in his arms. _“I love you,”_ he added softly, and reminded himself to say it again the moment Poe wakes up in the morning.

* * *

Rey was up early to run the training course. She finished it flawlessly, despite how sleepy she was from her late night talk with Finn. Her dimples popped in her cheeks as she tossed one last look at the course; she was so looking forward to having someone to train with now. Maybe Finn could even race her one day soon, and beat her record.

The future was so bright.

She jogged back to the Millennium Falcon, picking up the watering can that she left resting just outside the ship’s entry ramp. BeeBee-Ate whistled a long _“Good morning!”_ to her as she stomped past his charging station and into the Falcon’s cockpit.

“Good morning BeeBee-Ate,” Rey called. She leaned over the dashboard to water her plants nestled under the cockpit’s windshields. “Good morning flowers,” she whispered, and the plants and all their petals seemed to rise in response, stretching up to the sun shining just through the glass.

She carried her watering can back through the galley and into the lounge, which was empty, not that Rey was surprised. Finn and Poe had to be sleeping still—they’d all been up so late last night. _Had Finn been able to talk to Poe?_ , she wondered, nearly stomping onto D-O in the hallway leading to their bunks; _“Excuse me, Excuse me,”_ D-O blurted, to which Rey began to reply, “Excuse me, D-O, I didn’t see—"

But she caught herself short at the sight of Finn and Poe, sound asleep in Poe’s tight quarters. She pressed her hand tightly to her mouth.

_Oh._

_“He-Hello?”_ D-O chirped.  
  
Rey shushed him gently, using her hand to slow his wheel and keep him from rolling into the room. Rey whispered, “Quiet please, D-O,” a small smile blooming along her lips. Snuggled on their bunk, Finn and Poe’s chests rose and fell in slow tandem, fingers woven, feet tangled. And it’d probably—no, _certainly_ , embarrass them to hear it, but Rey felt they looked like… angels, really.

“I’ve got an idea, D-O,” Rey whispered to the little droid below her. “Would you like to help me make breakfast?” Before he could blurt out his answer, Rey rushed a finger to her lips: “Shh!” The droid nodded his head sweetly and rolled back towards the lounge, and Rey followed, giving one last look to Finn and Poe in their bunk.

She felt the Force around them, flowing gently. Flowing bright.

Rey smiled to herself. It was so good to be home.


End file.
